Stan, Kyle and a Parallel Place
by SnowUshanka
Summary: Stan's world is about to be turned inside out, upside down and round and round as he deals with a parallel world, choosing between Kyle and a parallel vampire Kyle, not to mention being stuck in the middle of a war!Eventual Style.
1. Something's Wrong

**Chapter One: Something's Wrong**

I knew as soon as I woke up something wasn't right. The air around me felt cooler, different. My eyes are immediately open, and blinking. One minute, I'm in my comfy bed about to drift off, with my electric blanket and the dull glow of my cell phone on my bedside table. Next, I'm wedged between too-tight cold bed sheets, where everything is pitch black and wrong. I jump out of bed, looking around desperately. My phone was there a minute ago, I'm sure! Kyle sent me a message five minutes ago. There is a phone on the bedside table, but the batteries are flat, I notice as I flip it open. Did I imagine these things? And why is my bed suddenly cold? Am I dreaming? Yeah, I was falling into sleep anyway. So if it's a dream, where's all the crazy stuff? Why aren't I naked at school or something? Well, this room is sort of creepy. It's a cold and dark version of my own, only much emptier and tidy, for once. Almost as if this wasn't the bedroom of a fifteen year old named Stanley Marsh. I stood there, trying to make sense of everything. This is too real to be a dream... Nothing's happening. I felt lost and confused and very drained... super drained... I quickly rush over to my window, and draw the curtains back. It was the same street I had known all my life, only in pitch black. I was surprised no street lights were on, and some of the houses looked completely empty. I began to breathe quickly, and freak out. I ran out of this version of my room, and into the hall. I decided to go to Shelly's room first, as it was upstairs like my room. But her door was missing. I looked around helplessly, and sprinted to my parent's room. It was there to my relief, but empty. I freaked out even more. I kissed them goodnight less than an hour ago. The TV wasn't on either-and was smashed. Oh God, did we get robbed? Did they kidnap my parents? I feel dizzy... Everything started to go black, and before I collapsed to the floor I heard the front door of this empty house crash down in splinters of cold, hard wood.

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Warmth. Voices. It was all a dream... it had to be. I slowly lift my eyelids, to find my mother barging into my room, screaming, "Stanley, I've been yelling at you for ages, come downstairs or else you'll miss the bus!" Sighing with relief after my restless night, I glance at my bedside table where my red poof-ball hat and mobile phone are sitting. There is a new text message from Kyle.

_Hey dude, got a really weird message from you last night. Cya on the bus._

I start feeling dizzy again. I didn't text Kyle at all last night, oh God, what if I accidentally texted him during my little panic session? Yeah, Stan, you texted your best friend Kyle while you where sleep-walking and somehow managed to send a message at like one in the morning. Get real. I sigh and walk downstairs. I'll soon forget about the dream, it was my imagination.

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I'm running late, but as I stumble around the corner of the snow-strewn street I notice Kyle, Kenny and the fatass standing there.

"Hey guys," I say, approaching them.

"Hey dude," Kyle smiles back, the glint in his eye tells me that he'll tell me about the message when we're alone. Cartman notices.

"Oh, and the Jew and the hippie made out for a while, before... ow!"

Kyle had already punched Cartman in the arm as the bus drove up the icy road. It heaved a little, and stopped just in front of us.

As I we stepped on, we were greeted by the familiar "sit down and shut up!" remark, but as I looked at Ms Crabtree half blocked by Kenny, it almost looked as if she was young and blonde-but only for a second. I shook it off, I was tired. Kyle and I took our usual seats in the bus, and he leant towards me. My heart started pounding, wondering while Kyle was suddenly so close when he pulled out his phone and my body began to relax. He handed it to me silently, and I read the text message slowly.

_I will stop you. We will all stop you. This isn't over yet, you and your 'demons' will never win!_

I stared at it blankly.

"Dude, I didn't write this."

"It was sent from your number," Kyle pointed out, matter of factly. Then I have a flashback.

"Oh. I let Cartman borrow my phone yesterday."

"Oh. Another lame plan to break up the 'super best friends?'" Kyle flashes a wide grin in my direction, and I grow numb.

The smile disappears, as Kyle then says, "the message was sent at like, two in the morning Stan. There's no way fatass could have sent it."

"I promise I didn't send it Kyle, double check the number."

Kyle squints at his phone, then goes "huh."

"What?"

"Well, the number is exactly the same as yours-only the first three numbers are different."

"Weird dude!"

"Yeah... It's really creepy..."

I flinch slightly. Not the first creepy thing that's happened to me this week.

"It's probably some dumb prank call dude," I say, getting nervous, "better just delete it."

And when I see his slender thumb press the 'delete' button, my heart starts beating again.

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I am perched over the rim of a school toilet, about to throw up. I am just so shocked it feels as if my insides have shifted and are creeping up my throat. After the deserted version of my house, hallucinating about Ms Crabtree and Kyle's odd text message, THIS was the final straw. I still can't believe I just ran screaming out of class though. I mean, Mr Garrison is boring and everything, but nobody has ever run out screaming. No, scratch that, Cartman did in like, the fourth grade when he wanted a Nintendo Wii. Anyway, as the bus pulled up at the school and the four of us got out, everything was normal. As we took our seats in the classroom, everything was normal. Cartman tried to bully Kyle into giving him the answers for the surprise maths quiz Mr Garrison announced we would do, to which Kyle replied, "It's a _surprise _quiz fatass! How am I supposed to know the answers?" To which Cartman replied, "You Jews always cheat." Kyle then punched Cartman. This was all normal though. But during the maths quiz I heard Kyle's voice, whispering my name. I turned to him, but his head was down and concentrating. Oh, ha ha Kyle. Make me think I'm going crazy. It was just such a Cartman joke though. Not funny. I glance over at Cartman, just in case but he's busy trying to cheat off Wendy. The voice said my name again, and I noticed how hissy it sounded. Evil, and dark... but Kyle. I looked to see if anyone else could hear it, but they were all just carrying on with their quizzes. It was when the disturbing voice shouted my name that I ran screaming from Mr Garrison's class. What's going on? Am I mental?

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The air is icy as I am sent home early from school. How embarrassing-sent home because I'm seeing things, hearing things and sending creepy text messages (from a number I don't know)... Then again, the text message didn't exactly say Kyle's name in it... Kyle... I hope he doesn't think I'm insane... Because I'm not... I'm just stressed. Yeah, school's pretty stressful. That's got to be the reason. And lack of sleep. I'm exhausted.

I pick the spare key up from under the mat, and as soon as I enter the house my whole body grows weak. I sluggishly trudge up the stairs and turn my bedroom door, and lie down. The next thing I remember is a strange, white light... Something's wrong with me...


	2. Some Kind of Joke

**Chapter Two: Some Kind of Joke**

Did I hit my head or something? Where am I... am I dreaming again? I quickly sit up from a blue-carpeted floor and look at my surroundings. There is a lot of light coming in from big windows overlooking mountains, and in this small room with a view I see a desk with a computer, telephone and important papers on it. Next to the desk there is a filing cabinet with magnets stuck on it. Hanging on the walls there seems to be a timeline of different photos. A brown haired woman is standing proudly behind a raven-haired boy. A man with a beard and graduation cap on his head is smiling while being handed a diploma. The final photo is a black and white professional shot of a man in all black wearing dark shades. My eyesight is too fuzzy and head so confused to make out any details in faces, but they all look very, very familiar. Suddenly, a door behind me starts to open, and some serious business-like voices are muttering quietly. I look around for a place to hide, and quickly scramble behind the desk.

"The boy should be in here," a man is saying, "Good thing you found your son before he got too far Sharon." I freeze. That guy is talking to my mother! Why was I locked in a weird room, in a weird building on the top of a mountain range? Last thing I remember was coming home from school early, lying down on my bed and picturing Kyle's face as I slowly drifted off...

CLICK!  
I peer nervously from behind the desk, to see Kyle's dad and my mother in all black wearing the same sunglasses as the guy in the photo.

"Stanley?" My mother calls out. For all I know, she could be some kind of succubus. I inch further behind the desk. Gerald Broflovski's eyes glance to my hiding place instantaneously and he walks over.

"I spotted movement over here," he pauses to peer over the desk, and gives me a brief smile.

"Stan!" My "mother" yells in delight as I slowly stand up.

"W-where am I? What happened?"

"Oh Stanley... you've lost your memory. Come with us, we'll try our best to explain everything... what can you remember?"  
I start to get mad.

"There's nothing wrong with my memory, my name is Stanley Marsh, I'm fifteen years old and my parents are Sharon and Randy. I have a sister called Shelly and attend South Park Elementary with my friends Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman." I stare at their shocked faces defiantly.  
"O-oh dear..." tears begin to form in my mother's eyes.

"Stan, we both said we'd never talk about Randy or Shelly again!"

"Why not?! Where am I, and who the hell are you, where's my REAL mother?!" I scream. This makes my mother even more upset.

"Take it easy Stan," Gerald says, moving to console my mother.

"Don't listen to him, he's lost his memory and look at the size of that lump on his head! He's obviously got concussion." I feel my hand instinctively fly to my forehead, where there is indeed a large bump. I don't even remember getting that. Ow.

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" I scowl.

"Come with us Stan. You need to rest. Tomorrow everything will come flooding back and we can proceed with Operation Anti-Vampire."

I stare blankly at Stan's deranged father.

"Operation Anti-Vampire." I say boredly. This is the lamest dream I've ever had.

"That's right! I'm so glad you're remembering!" My mother smiles a watery smile. I walk over to the door. Who knows, maybe playing along with my retarded dream could be fun?

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I'm lying in a camp bed in a smaller replica of my old room at this weird place on the mountain range. Its pitch black, and I can hear the wind howling outside the little window above my head. This is really crazy. I have to find out why my mother was with Kyle's father, and I'm even more curious about 'Operation Anti-Vampire'. I creep out the replica room, and into a hallway. There are some doors around me, where I can hear people snoring. I think I can remember where the room with the filing cabinet was. The door furthest down the hall, with the grand oak carving on it reading 'room of records'. I crept up the polished floorboards of the hallway, in some tattered 'Mission Impossible' pyjamas that I knew made me look about ten years old. I prayed silently that the door would be open-it was. I stepped onto the blue-carpeted floor, and made my way over to the filing cabinet. Crap. The drawers were locked. As I inched back towards the door, the sheets on the desk caught my eye. Why not read them? I'm obviously a part of this little 'organization' if my mother is. I picked up the first sheet, and absorbed the information like a sponge.

_**Top Secret Operation Anti-Vampire**_

_In order to stop the vampire colony and destroy its dangerous leader Sheila Broflovski, the Super Secret Spy Agency must form an alliance with the 'Church of Cartman' who are also fighting the deadly underground vampire colony. Instructions from Lead Agent Barbrady to send an invitation fax to Founder Eric Cartman and his league of 'kick ass' followers. Alliance with 'Butters' hardcore street gang may be necessary if the vampire population is to grow. So far they have been unco-operating. May need to appoint agent Stan Marsh to 'communicate' as a peer to Butters gang t o convince them to join forces. _

I stand there, trying to decide whether I should laugh like a maniac or put down the paper and walk away. This is totally ridiculous, it has to be a funny joke on a reality TV show. I mean, I've seen some weird things in South Park, but the only vampire I've ever seen is Kyle on Halloween. And Cartman? The only time ANYBODY has worshipped him was when he bought all those sea people and they thought he was God. I put the paper back on the desk, and am about to leave when there is a spine-tingling scratch on the window. I turn around slowly, and see a white face looking through the glass for half a second before disappearing. I small yelp escapes my mouth, and not caring who hears me run back to my replica room.

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"Stanley, wake up! We'll be late!" My mother's familiar morning nagging has begun, that dumb vampire stuff was a dream. But as I open my eyes, I'm still in the replica of my room. My mom bustles in with a black outfit with matching glasses.

"Ok Stan, get dressed and ready. And please don't run off by yourself again, me and the whole agency were worried sick."

"You mean the 'Super Secret Spy Agency'?" I say, trying not to snigger.

"Oh Stanley," mom beams, "you're getting better! Anyway, we're taking a helicopter back to South Park so you can have a word to Butters. Be careful though, he's dangerous. But you're fully trained so I don't have to worry."

She may not be worried, but I was. I'm not fully trained for anything, but a 'dangerous' Butters is too hard to imagine, I can't help but snigger into my hand.

"Ok, well, we'll be going soon." Mom leaves the room, and I begin to think that being a secret agent fighting vampires could actually be super-awesome. But that's when I remember the face through the window last night, and my insides start somersaulting.


	3. The Underground Lair

**Chapter Three: Totally Hardcore **

I am nervously walking towards a shabby looking shed, AKA Butters's hardcore gang's hideout. I can't believe I'm going straight into a dangerous situation with minimal training. I knock on the steel door, focusing on bits of peeling blue paint.

"Hello?"

"Who's that, m'kay?" The voice is no doubt Mr Mackey's, even though it's muffled through the door.

"I've been sent to deliver a message. Please let me in." I declare, reciting the script Kyle's father had given me.

There is a long silent pause. I began to sweat. Then, there is a clicking sound.

"Mmmkay..."

I push on the door, and find myself in a dimly lit large concrete room, where there are wet patches on the floor and Butters is sitting in a grand chair up the other side of the room.

"W-what brings you to my lair?" Butters stands up and paces towards me.

"Uh, the Secretive Spy um, dudes want you to join some vampire fighting thing."

Butters laughs, and says, "I think you mean the 'Super Secret Spy Agency' needs help with Operation Anti-Vampire."

"You seem to know more than I do. They told me that they will pay your gang a lot of money."

"I don't do what I do for money," he walks closer to me, "I am trying to destroy all these lame organizations-vampires, spies and Cartman worshippers-to protect the normal South Park citizens." I shrug. He's like the Robin Hood of South Park.

"Listen, I'm just a messenger..."

"No, you have to come with us. You seem to be a normal kid. You d-deserve to know what's really going on, by golly!" Butters gestures for me to follow him, and I walk cautiously but obediently behind him. Mr Mackey walks behind me, after locking the door. Is this a trap? Butters opens a door at the end of the concrete room, and a comfy looking study is on the other side. It reminds me of Al Gore's apartment- lots of technical equipment and a giant map with flashing red dots on it. Sub-consciously, I say, "Are you tracking Manbearpig?" Butters gives me a brief annoyed look and logs onto a huge wide-screen computer.

"Ok kid. I know your story. This dimension has been contacting recently."

"Dimension? Oh no, this is a crazy dream."

"No, you live in a parallel universe. We tried to zap you here the other day, you're this little red dot here-" he pauses to point at the map on the computer screen, "but you didn't end up in my office, you were in one of the abandoned houses." The eerie version of my house... it couldn't be...

"Anyway, there was interference from those rotten vampires and we had to end transmission and send you back. The vampires have been calling you... there technology is not as strong but they will try anything to kidnap you."

"BUT WHY?! WHY ME?! I'M JUST A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD BOY!"

"No Stan," Butters grins, "you have been brought here to restore peace between these organizations." He then motions for Mr Mackey to pull some sheets of paper from under the computer.

"To our understanding the leader of the 'Super Secret Spy Agency,' Barbrady is using this 'Anti-Vampire Operation' as a distraction for all the spies. You see, by getting every group to fight the vampires, he can pull out his new device-the device that brought you here. Your world is in danger; the 'Parallelogram' device allows people to freely walk between parallel worlds. Unfortunately Barbrady doesn't know how to control such a device. Little 'previews' from other dimensions keep seeping through into your dimension, and soon both our worlds will crash. Barbrady doesn't know this yet, but we know how to safely return you-" Butters was cut off by a huge explosion in the wall, and through the newly formed wall walked three very pale familiar faces, that were wearing purple cloaks. I was too confused by everything Butters had said and by this sudden explosion that I was frozen.

"Bring Stan to our underground lair," says a very bored, very pale Kyle Broflovski. On his left is a pale bored Chef, and to his right is a boy who I don't know, but looks slightly familiar from somewhere.

"NO!" Butters yells, diving towards Kyle. Kyle just stands there looking bored, as Butters is about to crash into him. Then it all happens in slow motion-Butters is about to make contact with Kyle, when all of a sudden Kyle's gorgeous emerald eyes flash red, and Butters is thrown back against the wall, even though Kyle didn't even touch him.

"Vampires are the best gang," Bradley says in an uninterested way, "we get ungodly powers."

"We're gunna need backup, m'kay," Mr Mackey quickly speaks into a walkie talkie. Then, the door to the study breaks down and Principal Victoria is standing there in a small cloud of rubble. She's wearing black leather and holding a machine gun. My knees give out, this is too distressing.

"DIE YOU VAMPIRE BITCHES!" I cover my head as Principal Victoria shoots at the pale intruders. All of a sudden the bullets stop. I risk looking up. The 'vampires' are laughing silently as the bullets soak into their pallid skin. Principal Victoria is standing there looking frustrated yet defeated.

"As I said," Kyle turns to me, "bring the agent to the underground lair." Too shocked to move, I allow myself to be carried away by the surprisingly strong arms of Kyle's henchmen.

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Someone must have knocked me out after Kyle blew up the side of Butters' study. That was last thing I remember, before waking up on a cold stone surface, tied down by heavy iron chains. My vision is blurry, and there is a new lump on my head. There are also some slight scratches on my arms and a bruise on my left shin. As my eyes focus in the dark light, I see a grand glistening chair that appears to be made from bones. It is on a sort of altar, and before it is a long pool of bubbling magma. The rock I'm chained to is on one side of the eerie throne, and I faintly see the outline of somebody else chained to the rock on the other side. On the other side of the magma pool there are little caves carved into the sides of this massive cavern, almost like a little village. All of a sudden, a piercing wailing makes me cover my ears. I look up, to see a tribe of eerie pasty men carrying a smaller version of the bone throne. I blinked in surprise as I saw Mrs. Broflovski being carried to the grand throne.

"Mother," Kyle knelt before this 'vampire' version of his mother, "I bring you the child agent Stanley Marsh."

"Good job bubby. Bring him over here," she tossed a rusty key onto the stone before Kyle. It was so strange to see his familiar angular face so stern, and those pretty shaped eyes so full of hate. He picked up the key and I gasp as he flies briskly over to me-literally flies, the purple cape billowing behind him like an evil sort of superman! It's upsetting to see your super best friend like this. This 'parallel' world is growing less and less fun. Where's Butters? I never thought I'd be saying this, but I really need Butters! Kyle unlocks the chains from around my wrists and with pulls me through the air, and grins devilishly as I look at how far we are from the ground. As we land, he gives me another evil grin, one that flashes all of his straight white teeth. I try to ignore how pointy his canines are.

I look at the pool of magma behind me. Please don't let them throw me in, I haven't done anything!

"Stan, you probably don't know why you're here," Mrs Broflovski starts. I have a little bit of an idea, but fully don't understand this crazy place.

"You see, the spies and church of Cartman and Butters hit-man association-"

"Butters is an assassin?" I interrupt with a nervous croak. I can't believe my 'mother' just sent me into an assassin's hide-out! I wonder if they're looking for me now...

"That's right. Anyway, they're all trying to kill you so they can rule your dimension. The vampires are truly here to help you. They'll come looking for you soon, so we must hide you away in our precious little cave society-I designed it myself!" Wanting to be with Kyle (even though this was a scary version of him) I didn't oppose to the idea. And those little caves were pretty neat.

"Kyle, why don't you show Stan around?"

"Do I have to ma?"

"Don't be rude bubby." I sigh. I guess Stan and Kyle aren't exactly friends in this dimension.


	4. All the Answers

**Chapter Four: All the Answers**

"Kyle will share his room, won't you bubby?"

"But mom-"

"It will be so good for my little bubbykins to socialize with people of other races. He's never really had any friends before."

Kyle turns angrily to his mother, and makes a hissing noise as he bares his glistening fangs.

Mrs Broflovski laughs.

"That's cute Kyle," she giggles, leaving the bedroom.

Kyle's whole house was built into the cave wall next to his mother's throne. It was painted in gold and silver, and many gleaming gems hung around the walls like wallpaper. All the furniture was made of smooth stone, obviously carved very carefully and the coaches and beds were covered by deep, purple silk cloth. All the light in the room came from candles that had special holders in the wall. Kyle moved briskly to blow them all out. Even though he may not necessarily like me, my head was swimming with questions. The stone ground was quite uncomfortable and the thin purple cloth wasn't really keeping me warm.

"Is your mother a queen?" I looked up at Kyle's indifferent face as he slid onto his carved, grand golden four poster bed.

"I guess."

"What about your dad? He was with my mother at that spy place... What about _my _dad?!"

"Look, kid, just shut up. It's bad enough you being here but all the questions...."

"Why do you hate me?" That last question I had been wanting answered ever since I met him. I knew he wasn't _my _Kyle from _my _world, but it still hurt when he made it seemingly obvious he loathed me. He turns from his bed, and I see the unearthly glow in his green eyes.

"Don't you see?! You're the one everybody's been waiting for. I thought _I _was the saviour, so did my mother, but then rumours of the boy who could pass through worlds got through..." He looks away painfully. I start to get mad.

"No, the 'Parallelogram' device allows people to walk between worlds."

"Only certain people!" He snaps, "I've seen the device! It's like a portal! I couldn't walk through it, but I tried calling you through it... the vampires stole it from Barbrady, and replaced it with the Imaginationland portal." He looks slightly pleased with himself.

"It was my idea... Barbrady's evil, he wants to take over all the worlds and be king of them all. The Church of Cartman are trying to stop him, although that royal fatass only wants to wipe out all the other groups until everyone worships him!" Kyle seethes. I smile in the dark. Maybe Kyle hasn't changed that much.

"But... my mother said that I ran away... does that mean there's another me in this world? On the loose?"

"Well, your other self is probably in your world right now."

"What?!"

I think of 'highly trained spy' Stan sleeping in _my_ bed, talking to _my _parents, seeing _my _Kyle... What if he does something that makes everyone hate me? Or are all the worlds going to find out about this gay war?

"Those dumb spies are trying to kill us because they think we want to take over the worlds, when we're only trying to stop them from doing so! Your mother and the other spies have no idea about the parallelogram! Only my mother and me, Barbrady, Butters and Cartman know! Butters would probably be on our side, but he just wants to send you away and not actually destroy the machine. We have to destroy it, but first _you _have to get everybody in the world to destroy Cartman and Barbrady, and restore peace to the citizens!" Kyle's eyes are wild, and his curls are bobbing excitedly at finally being able to tell somebody about all these confusing and secret plans. All I want to do is reach over and feel those soft ginger ringlets... I sigh.

"Nobody will listen to me. I'm just a fifteen year old boy."

"Yeah, the other organizations want you to help destroy us, but really you have to get on the public's side. Make them like you. That's where we're going to take you tomorrow." I lie in the silent darkness on the cold stone floor, in the vampire village, in a giant underground lair, in a parallel world. This is crazy.

"Hey Kyle," I whisper.

"What?"

"I thought vampires didn't sleep!"

"Look, I don't melt in sunlight, or rock-hard skin or turn into a bat. I'm only half vampire. Poor dad didn't know what he was getting..." He snickers evilly.

"I do have cool psychic powers though. And can move really fast."

"What do you eat then?"

"Well, mainly just what my mother cooks." I can tell by the way he says it he's not going to explain.

"But because I'm a soon to be king after my mother dies, I'm naturally more powerful than all these average vampires. Mom's had to sacrifice a lot to make a halfy like me uber- dominant! So watch your back kid. I still hate you for taking my glory."

He's meaner than my Kyle. Still, I can tell he's being nicer to me than he planned. Maybe it's some weird worldly connection. I wouldn't be too surprised considering everything that's happened in the past twenty-four hours. Actually, so far this week I've had frightening dreams, saw 'previews', heard voices, witnessed my super-best friend get a super weird text message, waking up in a secret HQ in another dimension, meeting parallel versions of everyone I know and sleeping next to (well, on the floor next to) a vampire I know as Kyle. And being kidnapped and in a war. The only people I'm anxious to meet know are Kenny, Cartman and my ex, Wendy. Craig and Clyde would also be interesting. Oh, and Token. It was weird that Chef was a vampire though. At least he's still alive in this world though. Oh god, Mrs Garrison! And Principal Victoria was hilarious, in all that tight leather! It's not every day you see your principal holding a machine gun! And Butters a serial killer? Even so, he was a pretty hospitable assassin. Not many things change. Pip's probably here too, and Tweek. And I still haven't seen my dad. Or Cartman's mom. Oh, and I wonder what happened to Shelly and Ike? Is Ike still Kyle's brother? And Bebe... Oh my god, Bebe! That familiar vampire boy that broke into Butters' study with Kyle and Chef was Bebe! But a boy version... Did she get a sex change or something?! Who else is a vampire? Who else is a secret agent? Who in their right mind would worship Eric Cartman?! I wonder if the mayor is still a mayor. And what about that 'preview' I had of Ms Crabtree? Well, hopefully when Kyle takes me into his parallel South Park tomorrow to gain the public's affection I'll find out. This could be hilarious. Or depressing. I am just so overwhelmed right now, I think I need coffee! I can't be expected to sleep! Suddenly, there is a swoosh of cold air through my hair, and my face is inches from Kyle. My heart pounds faster as I count the freckles on his nose.

"I can sense your emotions and they're keeping me awake! Stupid humans, out-of control with their emotions..." I snicker.

"Control your temper Kyle!"

"Shut up! And try to calm down! Half the Vampire population is probably awake now too." Kyle sighs with annoyance as I race to his window. The other mini stone caves in the giant caves are still. They're very small compared to the Broflovski's cave. I wonder who put Mrs Broflovski in charge? I can hear her snoring from the next room. Who knew vampires snored? She seems to have many exquisite rooms, why am I in Kyle's? Oh, yeah I'm supposed to be his only human friend that he hates because I stole his glory. I lay back down on my stony bed. Kyle's an only child now. I look around at the different coloured and patterned capes on the back of his door, and old baby toys in a box in the corner. Kyle's breathing slows, and he rolls over. Falling out from underneath his silk pillow falls a small object. I examine it. It's a soft plush dog, with a missing ear and tooth marks in it. I silently put it back next to the sleeping figure, and wish that I had something to hug in this cold dark cave, away from my family and away from my world. Why me? Why do I have to be some great saviour? I am so hot and cold. One minute this place is funny, the next it's confusing, then scary then aaah! I'm mad now. But I have to try to contain my emotions; I don't want to wake the whole vampire village...


	5. Whole Lotta Suspicious other Stan

**Chapter Five: Whole Lotta Suspicious (Other Stan's POV)**

Well, I know what happened here. Damn it! I knew that no good Butters would send me to this world. He wanted to swap me for other Stan. He wanted to get rid of me. How surprised will he be when he finds out that another Stan has popped across to his world? All these failed attempts Butters made trying to get the 'saviour' Stan to my world paid off. I don't know why they're bothering. I could destroy those no good vampires just fine. I take a look at my surroundings. Hey, this is weird. It's my old house from before that part of town became vampire territory! It's so warm, and so bright!

"Stan, are you awake? You'll miss the bus!"

Is that my mother? No, it isn't my house, my mother or my world... but it can't hurt just to stay here while 'the chosen one' destroys all the vampires right? Especially that arrogant Prince Kyle... But I have to be on guard. Vampires could have easily slipped through the Parallelogram. I walk down the stairs into the bright, good smelling kitchen. Are those... pancakes?! With all these stupid training regimens, I haven't had pancakes for like, three years! I smile brightly at the normal version of my mother, standing over the stove with a spatula. I smile broadly and take a seat at the messy kitchen table.

"Just shift those old newspapers; your father will probably come down soon." My heart stops. In this reality, my mother and father are still together... before they got divorced and he opened his own rehab clinic and got married to the mayor?! Oh wait, that wouldn't even occur in this dimension. And what of my sister Shelly? After I finish my pancakes, I am shoved out the door before I get a chance to glimpse at any more of my 'family'. I am supposed to catch the bus. Where's the bus stop? Which way do I go? Other Stan knows these things, not me. Oh no. Other Stan, untrained and a 'secret agent' in my world?! The vampires will kill him for sure! I have to find a way to get back... but this world is not as technologically advanced as my world. No parallelogram devices here... and that damn Butters knew that! For some reason he doesn't want me interfering with 'Operation Anti-Vampire'... Then I see it. The leader of the Cartman church, the vampire prince and some orange hooded kid... I have to form alliances with Cartman to destroy Prince Kyle! I can't believe he's just standing next to one of the most powerful vampires ever! I run towards him, stealthily and pull out a knife. They see me coming.

"Hey Stan," Kyle says, looking at me. The knife drops from my hand. His eyes are human. Still that same vibrant green but no unearthly glow. Of course. He's Kyle from this world. They haven't used the parallelogram yet. And what of this spiritual leader? He isn't even wearing the traditional garments! They must just be normal people! Normal like other Stan. Only he's not very normal, being a great saviour and everything.

"Salutations," I say nervously. I've never hung out with real kids my own age before. The boys look at me weirdly.

"Uh, you ok dude?" Human Kyle asks. Unholy Cartman sniggers.

"What a hippie! That's such a hippy thing to say, huh Kenny?" he turns to the orange coat kid. I stare. So Kenny's a human too in this dimension? It seems the fat boy and him are well acquainted. Maybe I should dumb my words down; I do not want to seem like one of these 'hippies'.

"Uh, yeah totally." They look away, but we don't speak anymore until a yellow school bus pulls up in front of me. I don't know whether or not to tell these people if I'm from another dimension. They could help, but can I really trust them? For all I know Kyle could still be disguising his vampirism somehow. Dumbly, as we get on the bus I say, "Kyle, are you a vampire?" I then smack my head with the heel of my hand. All my training seems to have worn off in this darn world. Rule number one, never... wait, what's rule number one?

"Dude." Kyle looks at me. Cartman roars with laughter.

"Oh god Stan, you just out-hippied yourself!" Wow, this other version of Cartman sucks!

"What is a hippy?" I find myself blurting out again. Have to control this mouth of mine!

"Are you ok?" Kenny muffles.

We take a seat at the back of the bus; me and Kyle sit in front of Kenny and Cartman.

"Look, I'm not _your _Stan." I sigh plaintively. Kyle blushes.

"I-I never said you were..."

Cartman cackles "You guys are so gay!"

"No, I come from a different-no, parallel-world to yours. Thanks to a device built in my world, I was swapped with the Stan Marsh you know and really have to find a way back."

Cartman starts to cackle harder.

"Dude. I'm not stupid." Kyle looks hurt.

"No really! Where I come from, this whole neighbourhood is deserted because the vampires took over it, and I'm a secret agent!" Kyle puts his hand on my forehead.

"You're burning up."

"There are none of these, 'hippies' as you say. We don't have hippies in my world!"

Suddenly, the fat boy stops laughing.

"A world without hippies, you say?"

"Stan? We can stop the bus to get you to hospital, you'll be ok!" Kyle says, standing up. Cartman pushes him back down.

"No dude, I believe Stan is telling the truth!"  
"Oh please, you just want to believe in a world where no hippies exist!"  
"I can take you to this world, if only there was a Parallelogram device."

"What's that?"

"A portal."

"The government has one for Imaginationland!" Cartman jumps up excitedly.

"Sit down and shut up!" The fat, ugly old bus driver yells.

"Wow, the bus driver in my world looks way different."

"Let's go you guys! I have a golden ticket, I have a-"

"Shut up Cartman! Stan is obviously sick. Maybe he did send me that text... and he did get sent sick home from school the other day." Kyle considers.

"He was faking!" Kenny pipes up.

"No, seriously you guys, we'll just sneak into the government building-"

"Cartman."

"Your fat friend is right! I have to get home to destroy the vampires!"

"Yes-wait, I'm not fat!"

"This is retarded." The bus halts to a stop, and Kyle jumps up to get off. Cartman shoots up too, and races to Kyle to grab hold of his arm.

"Kyle, Stan is your best friend. You need to humour him. Humour your friend Kyle, humour him!"

Kyle shakes off Cartman's grip.

"You just want to live in a world with no hippies. You don't care about Stan."

"You don't really seem to care about Stan right now either, calling him crazy!"

Kyle sighs, and turns around.

"We'll leave tonight. Bring your Mission Impossible play set."


	6. The Angel and the Devil

**Chapter Six: The Angel and the Devil**

The first house that we stood outside was made from clean, polished bricks. Vampire Kyle asks me if I'm ready to go in. I smile at him. Even though he tries to hate me, we just naturally get along so well that he forgets to be all sulky. I knock on the door, and see Mr Garrison.

"Well hello there young man, can I help you today?"

The sweetness of this Garrison caused my mouth to drop open, and as I look past him I notice authentic Persian interior.

"Uhm, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Well sure!" Mr Garrison lead him inside his overly Persian house, and I tried to remember all the confusing things that vampire Kyle had told me last night.

**Kyle's POV  
**I watch Stan go into the house. I smile to myself. He's quite nice, but no way does he have what it takes to restore peace. Ever since I saw him I knew I had to bite him. But then again, my mother would go ballistic if I did. But then balance it out-one tantrum from my mother or the whole world saved? Yes... I move over to the window, and I can see Stan trying to reach the heart of his listener. I can see his angelic blue eyes staring straight into the soul of that Garrison guy. God, what a suck up he can be! I'm so glad I'm not like that. But I do see my mother watching the two of us, hoping that some of his 'goodness' will rub off on me. Yeah, we're a great team-the angel and the devil. But naturally, I have to hate him. I mean, he took my glory right? I thought that as I spent more and more time with him my hate would grow, but it seems to have the opposite effect...

Then, the door opens and I hear Stan politely say thank you and close the door behind him. Usually I can sense when people are coming by their emotions, but that caught me completely off guard.

"Ok, did he believe your sap story?"

"Like he was born yesterday."

"Right. Anyway, time to go to the next house."

Stan closes his eyes tightly as I wrap my arms around him and we glide through the streets. Then, on an impulse decision I decide to do it. I make a sharp turn left, causing him to gurgle slightly and we land in the middle of Vampire Turf. An abandoned street. I smirk at Stan's surprised and awestruck face. Oh yes, late at night when my mother was sleeping I read all of S. Marsh's files and documents. I was strangely drawn to this blue eyed dark haired boy who was to bring peace to our world. I read all sorts of things about the Parallelogram and other worlds too and how messed up it is there. Heh, it's probably pretty messed up here for him too.

"T-this is my street..." Stan finally says, "and that's my house."

I grin broadly, and catch my reflection in the broken window of his 'house'. I look evil. Awesome.

"Want to go inside? Vampires own this street."

Before he can answer I swoop him off his feet and we crash through the flimsy door. Stan stands in silence looking at his damaged house as the door slowly collapses in a pile of dust.

"What happened?" He says, stroking a very battered coffee table. I shrug.

"War." He nods seriously, and bolts up the stairs. I glide up after him, and see him looking into a dark, empty room. A room that hasn't seen life for years. He moves to the bedside table where an old mobile phone is sitting, and then I just can't wait much longer. I head butt him onto the bed and pin him down in a brisk movement, so fast his puny human brain probably hasn't registered what just happened.

"K-Kyle... what's going-"

I hiss uncontrollably, and see his eyes flood with fear as I bare my glistening fangs.

"Stan, you shall be an angel no more. You can have ultimate power!" I lean over his pale beating neck, and laugh at his weak attempts to wriggle free.

"You're an animal!" He yelps breathlessly. My mouth touches his neck, and I feel my lips instinctively pull back as my fangs are about to sink in. That there is a noise and a bright light. The dead phone on the bedside table is glowing a bright green, and there is a similar coloured glow coming from Stan's leather jacket. Before I have time to react a huge invisible thump pulses through the room, knocking me against the wall. Impossible. I am all powerful... Then I see them. They must be some apocalyptic team. I sniff. The four of them, all human. The silhouette of one steps forward, and I see they're holding some sort of small green orb. They hand this light to another silhouette so that they can step forward and pull Stan up from the bed. I scramble to my feet, but before anything can happen they have all gone. With Stanley Marsh. The only thing they left in his place was a fat kid with a homicidal smile. Not as impressive of mine of course, but very off-putting seeing as my powers are weak from that strange pulse. I think I know what just happened. Someone from the other dimension teleported my saviour back to his home world! This fat kid must be some sort of sacrifice... as my brain starts to work again, the boy steps forward.

"Hello Kyle," he looks amused, "trying to get me to come back to my lousy hippy infested dimension are we?"

"I'm not the Kyle you know!" I scream, but my words are all jumbled up. He takes another step closer. He's holding a net.

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**Stan's POV**

"Whoa, I think I'm going to be sick!" I stagger over to a bed and feel my knees give way.

"What just happened? Where's that psycho vampire?"

"Don't worry Para-self!" A guy who looks exactly like me says, "You're home now! I suppose it was a mere glitch in the Parallelogram. I can get back to saving the worlds now."

"No," I stand up, "I'm supposed to save the world!" the other me scowls.

"Jumping between worlds in supposed to scramble your brain for a bit," he stretches, "I thought you would have forgotten."

"Dude," Kyle says; him and Kenny peeking nervously from behind other me.

"There are two..." he utters, eyes growing wide.

Other me sighs.

"I told you to expect this before, at government base."

"I-I didn't believe you... I wanted to, but I thought my friend was crazy..." there is a dull thud as Kyle drops to the ground. I blink and rush over to him. Other me is gripping a glowing green orb, and suddenly the phone in my pocket reacts.

"Hey, this happened before... in my abandoned bedroom," I quickly look around to see that I am in my parallel (normal) bedroom, which is bright, warm and slightly messy.

"Those two phones existed in both worlds and were in the same room causing a doorway through worlds. We were about to give up when the Imaginationland portal detected a different world and we stepped through. But then the fairies said there were too many of us and-oh never mind, your boyfriend will fill you in."

My cheeks burn scarlet and I turn to this annoying parallel version of me.

"I demand you take me back to the other world now, even if Kyle did try to bite me or whatever, I have to help the vampires!"

He looks at me like I'm a filthy piece of grime on his ultra-technical spy boots.

"So you're one of them. You know, I thought my parallel self would be cool but you are an evil villain." Then he comes closer to me, and his eyes grow wide. He grabs me by the shirt and the unconscious Kyle and pulls us over next to my bed. In a flash of green we are all gone, and the last thing I see from my world is Kenny running out of the room before psycho-me could drag him along for the ride.

"He bit you," other- me grins darkly, "and you will be the first villain I catch!" I gasp, and hold my hand to my neck. I was so sure I'd been saved by the bell but this bright red stuff on my fingers tells me otherwise. I feel myself grow dizzy, and then I collapse on top of Kyle. This version of me is a real devil.


	7. Good Game

**Chapter Seven: Good Game**

**Vampire Kyle's POV  
**I blink, and sit up. It's dark, damp and smells like mould. My powers feel fully recovered and my senses are tingling-there is a human around here somewhere. The feelings are-excited, happy, menacing... but now that I am strong I can break out of this measly net. Stupid kid... thought I was human Kyle huh? How pathetic my other self is. I may have been temporarily paralysed or whatever, but I saw the little pecker faint. Suddenly there was a single light beam that cut through the dark, and I saw the evil round face of Stan's 'friend' Eric Cartman. I mustn't have recognized him yesterday as my eyesight was all blurry. I read all about this guy and how much he hates human Kyle in Stan's profile.

"You're awake Kyle," he says superiorly, "do you want a snack?" He produces a bag of cheesy poofs from a pocket in his large red coat.

"No thanks," I suppress a snicker. He thinks he's caught his worst enemy; he wants to see me get mad and irritated. He doesn't know he's in more danger than I am. But we shall play a little game with you, fat boy.

"Uh, are you sure Kyle? You've been in that prison for a while now."

"Prison?" I sigh, "This is a simple net." I sense the emotions changing from smugness to frustration. I glance around. My eyes have fully adjusted to the dark and I can clearly see we're in a sewer.

"Why am I in a sewer Cartman?" The emotions are growing more arrogant.

"Ah, glad you asked Kyle. In a minute, alligators will swim through these dark polluted waters, and I will escape through that manhole up nyah. The alligators will chew through your net and you fall in the water and uh, alligators will try to eat you but then I'll call them off with this alligator whistle." I stare at the insane chubby pig.

"What."

"It will be super sweet; you'll be covered in crap!" He laughs heartily as I listen to the dripping tune of the sewer.

"Are you serious? Alligators can't survive in sewers, it is an urban legend. Alligators don't respond to dog whistles and why would you want to save your mortal enemy?"

He twitches angrily.

"Shut up, stupid Jew!" I roll my eyes and use my laser vision to burn through the net before landing with a slight splash onto the moist concrete below.

"Give it up Cartman. I told you before, you don't know me." Scared, confused.

"I am from this world. I don't know why you're here but I'm glad you are." Terrified, bewildered, furious.

I glide over to the chubby kid perched on the ladder upwards. I give him my evillest smile, making sure to bare my pointed teeth.

"What brings you to this world, my friend?" Disbelief, nausea.

"N-no hippies..." he says, before bolting up through the man hole. Let him go. I smile to myself. That's when I see my smile in the reflection of the steel ladder. My tooth. There is blood on my tooth... I chuckle impulsively. I got him! Yes, I finally bit Stan!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I can't believe this. Neither can Kyle. We're nervously peeking through the iron bars of a cage that other Stan gave to _my _mother. My mother who doesn't know about the Parallelogram and wants to destroy the vampires. Who bit me? Now she thinks Kyle is 'Prince Kyle' and I'm an evil clone. _Me _the evil one? That's rich. Mr Broflovski comes in frequently to question me and sometimes Kyle passes out with shock. He always was the weaker of the two of us, though strong in spirit. Para-Stan was bragging that he used this special iron that drains vampire powers. Well, my Kyle's no vampire but he sure is looking drained right now. Wait. I'm the vampire... soon.

"Kyle, are you ok?"

"Y-yeah I think so. You explained everything about the Parallelogram so well."  
"Thanks. You're the one who told me."

"What?"

"I mean the vampire... never mind. Just tell me how you, other me, Kenny and Cartman came to this world ok?"

"Sure," he says, looking distracted.

"Are you sure you're ok? That bite may not have been deep but you know..."  
"I'm sure I'll be fine Kye... I just don't want to be a vampire you know?"  
"I'll take your mind off it," he says, suggestively. I feel my face flush.

"W-what?!"

He looks at me strangely before replying.

"Dude, I meant tell you how we travelled into this world." I start to breathe again, a little surprised at the disappointment I'm feeling.

"O-ok. Go ahead Kyle."

"Well, this other you appeared in town shortly after I got that weird text message."

"Oh yeah! Did you find out who that was from?"

"Yeah-this version of Stan. He didn't explain it properly-said something about me and vampires. Anyway, we all dressed in black and used Cartman's Mission Impossible play set to break into the Government building. Cartman was so hyped at the idea of a hippie free world that he was practically rabid. He led us to the huge portal of Imaginationland. Evil Stan changed a few settings and we saw through to where you were standing in that creepy bedroom. We couldn't break through though, until that phone on the bedside table reacted with the one in your pocket. According to 'Stan' this was a glitch that pulled us through because the same object was in the same room as itself... I know that's complex."  
"Right. So what about the fairies?"

Kyle frowns and touches a rather large bruise on his forehead.

"I don't remember any fairies." Stupid Para-self.

All of a sudden, there is a rumbling in the distance that seems to be getting closer. It is dark now, and I feel scared from within my iron cage. The rumbling is advancing, and soon, shaking the whole room. The glass suddenly breaks and Kyle falls against me again. I look down at him. This time he is not unconscious. I stare into his emerald eyes and brush an orange ringlet from his fair face. It is an intense moment, but only lasts a second because I shift my gaze to find a helicopter hovering out the window.

"Oh my god!" I say, jumping to my feet (only to hit my head on the top of this cage and fall onto Kyle).

Suddenly, there are footsteps down the hallway and the light is flicked on. My 'mother' in her pink floral dressing gown is looking around the study (the first place I saw in this world) and clinging to Mr Broflovski for support. The chopper, which has caused many papers to fly around the room suddenly, drops a rope ladder into the room. A metallic door slides open, and I briefly catch a glimpse of a white figure struggling to climb down all the ladder rungs in a dress. Finally they clamber through the broken window, and around the shattered glass. Kyle and I are trying to suppress our laughter. There is Eric Cartman, bathed in a white robe that covers his feet with a symbol of something that looks like pizza emblazed onto the front. He is also wearing a crown, decorated with various jewels and holding a shiny gold staff. The look on his face is so proud, so superior, that I wouldn't be surprised if this were _our_ friend Cartman.

"Do not fear me!" Is the first thing he says, stepping towards the parents (who, now that I look more closely are obviously a couple) and extending a cloaked arm to them. They just stare in wide-mouthed shock, and Cartman turns around to wave a signal for the chopper to land on the roof. Finally it flies away, and the papers settle randomly and out-of-order on the floor.

"Yes, I'm sorry I took so long to get here. I am very much looking forward to destroying the vampires... and will pay for any uh, damage." He skirts around a rather large chunk of glass looking guilty. Ok, maybe this is Para-Cartman. Then he sees us, the prisoners, and the prize game.

"Aha! The source of our little 'problem'. Not so mighty now, eh Prince Kyle?" I sense Kyle's mood change to anger. I mean, the guy did look exactly like Cartman.

"I'm from a parallel universe, fat ass!"

"Oh Kyle, you imaginative thing you," he chuckles and turns to me.

"This must be the evil clone?"

Suddenly, I snap and claw at Cartman through the iron bars, and feel myself frothing at the mouth. I sense Cartman's mood shift to digestedness. Kyle's is one of concern and fear. Wait. Did I just sense a mood? But that means? It's begun. At that moment, I feel my world hurtling sideways before everything goes black.


	8. A Little Bit More

**Chapter Eight: A Little Bit More**

**Vampire Kyle's POV  
**I have to hurry. I just got word of Holy Leader Cartman travelling to the Secret Headquarters in the mountains of South Park. I have to get the kid out of there. Suddenly, there is a screeching of tires from around the corner. This is vampire territory I'm in and we are fast enough without cars. Abruptly I'm introduced to a pair of bright headlights and can practically taste the adrenaline. The black van speeds towards me and I can see a figure on top, poised and ready. Then the gunshots begin. I race down the road of the deserted street as fast as I can go, and send telepathic messages to Stan. I'm coming to save you; I won't let that other Stan get away with this! I'm just psyched that he's back in my world. Now I can destroy that secret agent for good. I look over my shoulder. The car is about three metres away, so I launch myself behind a brick wall and land on something cushiony. It yelps. I see the chunky boy wide eyed and sense fear and familiarity. I cover his mouth before he can scream, and see Butter's van stop in the middle of the icy road.

"You're not from here so stick with me and I'll help you get home," I sigh, not really happy to help the kid who netted me earlier.

"Asshole, I want to live here in a world without hippies!"

"If you say so, I'll just throw you to that lady holding the machine gun." Butter's bitch Principal Victoria jumps down from the roof, and opens the door for Mr Mackey and Butters himself.

"Oh my god dude, is that Principal Victoria?" The boy splutters in hushed laugher, "_and _Mr Mackey? Oh boy this just keeps getting better." But as Butters' face comes into view, he squeals with laughter like a pig and the three heads swivel to our hiding place. I punch him in the arm.

"Get out my vampire tracking device and vampire-proof cage," Butters reloads a pistol he had just pulled from inside his leather jacket.

"That bastard owes me a new study."

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**Normal Kyle's POV**

"I'm telling you I'm not a vampire for the last time, and don't know where the secret underground lair is!" I say desperately to Cartman, Mrs Marsh and my 'dad'. He keeps looking at me with a distant yet hurt expression. Is he my father in this world? I can't wait to see my mother. I wonder if that's what Stan was thinking when he first came here. I stare at the pale, angelic face that is almost dead-looking slumped across the seat. I stand up from my seat and try to ignore the way the chopper slightly moves and edge my way over to the barred off window where my captors are sitting comfortably. It's seriously like being in a cop's car!

"Um, excuse me? Where are we going?" Cartman sighs, and turns round from driving the helicopter.

"Kyle, I told you. We're going to the deserted street of the vampire nation because the lair will be around there somewhere." I stomp back to my seat irritated. I don't know what that means.

"Can't you just let me and Stan go? We don't know anything!"

There is a hushed whisper from the other side of the chopper, and everyone makes an agreeing noise. Cartman pushes a button, and suddenly gas comes spraying out of what I thought was a security camera.

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**Vampire Kyle's POV  
**"Listen to me, we can be on the same side!"  
"I don't want to hear it! I've had enough of your trickery Kyle!"

"Oh man, this is totally awesome."

"Shut up!" Butters yells at the stout boy tied up in vampire proof rope next to me.

"Listen. You don't get that I want Stan to restore peace to... and I'm sorry about your study." I look around at the rubble that still lay there from when me and my cronies broke in. I'd love to say that Bradley and Chef were my friends, but they were too scared of my superiority to actually like me. That's why I have to get (oh I hate to admit this) my only friend back-Stanley Marsh.

"I'm sorry Kyle, but I cannot yet trust you," he fingers a bandaid on his temple, "as for Cartman we ran some tests and have confirmed he is from the other dimension and not a worldly leader. He shall be sent to the spy agency so Barbrady can send him back through the parallelogram."

"But," I interject, "that's where we need to be. The Parallelogram."

"I don't follow."  
"You guys, this is so totally sweet."

"Mr Mackey, please tape Cartman."

"What? No, nooo! You assh-"

"Continue."

"Cartman will be on the inside. He can bring down Barbrady-the real enemy and reveal the truth! Reveal how Barbrady was only distracting everyone by spreading rumours about vampires! How he is using everyone to get complete ownership of everything!"  
Butters rubs his hand along his chin, deep in thought.

"You propose a fair system my Prince. I am only upset I didn't think of such a thing first."

"Of course we'll all need to be planted outside the secret headquarters as backup. Then we can strike."

"What about Stan Marsh?"

"The saviour? Well, he hasn't saved us yet and I'm not waiting around until he does," for a second my mind imagines him as a vampire. Butters sighs, defeated.

"I will send a telegram to them telling them I am on their side. We leave at dawn."

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**Holy Cartman's POV**

"Look Kenny, we're here!" I reach into my pocket and produce a small tortoise in a small white gown. I look over at the anxious faces of Sharon Marsh and Gerald Broflovski, clutching cups of coffee from my automatic coffee maker. I grin.

"Relax, it's on autopilot," I walk over to the barred hole separating me from those vile vampires. "How are my petit prisoners?" I look at the saviour's clone, huddled and thin in the corner and at Prince Kyle slowly regaining consciousness after being gassed the night before.

"Oh cheer up you guys!" I say, whirling Kenny around and plonking into the seat opposite the couple.

"So, Gerald," I notice the discomfort on his face being addressed so maturely by a fifteen year old and chuckle.

"Did you used to be Kyle's father?" I watch as Sharon grips Gerald's shirt tighter, her face a mess of smudged mascara and drooping eyes.

"I-I still am your holiness. Sheila... tricked me. I had no idea she was a vampire until," he swallows, "until it was too late." He finishes with a whisper. Oblivious to the emotion, I turn to the woman on his left.

"Sharon," I prompt, "Whatever happened to Randy and Shelly? Oh, hold on, I know what happened to Shelly."

"I-Is she ok?"

"One of the finest Church of Cartman Nuns I've seen in a long time," best not mention that we're dating.

"And what of Randy? Last time I saw you-with Shelly of course-you guys were together." Sharon blew her nose.

"H-he ran away with some girl. He couldn't handle me being a secret agent! H-he doesn't even visit Stan anymore! I think that's why he's so aggressive, so distant..." There was a sudden jolt as the helicopter hit the ground.

"Welcome," I waggle my eyebrows, "to vampire territory."

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**Stan's POV  
**I'm pretty sure I hit my head... where am I again? Oh yeah, the chopper. I glance at Kyle. He's feeling tired, anxious, and bitter. Oh yeah, I forgot I'm a vampire now. I hear voices outside and press my face against the glass. We're in my old street, the one that was apparently captured by vampires... but why? Kyle looks at me but doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to, his emotions are yodelling. Angry at everything, I pelt against the metal inside of the chopper, and surprisingly a rather large dent is formed in the side. I grin. New powers. I scrape my fingernails across the metal, ripping it like paper. Now there is an exit for me and Kyle to use. But then I see Cartman's face.

"Oh no you don't," he shoots out a vampire proof net, and gestures for my 'mother' and Kyle's 'father' to carry us. Then there is a beeping and Cartman pulls a pager out from his wholesome robes.

"What. No. Way." Suddenly, the net is thrown back into the damaged helicopter and Cartman waddles around the front to start the engine.

"Where are we going?" I hear Mr Broflovski ask.

"Your HQ-there's been a mass vampire intrusion."

---------Author's Note-----------------------------------------------

Never done one of these before! I just want to let you know that this story _will _be completed... and that I love all the people who review, so keep reviewing you're awesome! Uh, yeah.


	9. Double Crossed Butterscotch

**Chapter Nine: Double Crossed Butterscotch**

**Vampire Kyle's POV  
**"They're surrounded Butters! Are you in?"

"Yeah, I'm talking to the agents who are 'house-sitting' agent Timmy and Jimmy. They're young and fit, and look very well trained."

"Ok, be careful. Have you seen the Parallelogram? Is the target Barbrady in view?"

"No, you may have to wait it out for a couple of days," Butters sighs, "they don't trust me but as soon as the Cartman arrives in the mail Barbrady will be contacted and the rest will unfold."

"Great! Then all he has to do is destroy the Parallelogram by typing in the code I taught him and we'll ambush to kill those darn spies..."

"Easy now, Timmy and Jimmy are returning with Barbrady!"

I feel myself growing restless, because I sense Barbrady in there. Heck, I could kill him right now! I will kill him right now...

"Vampires, move in for attack! Destroy anyone who gets in your way and make sure Barbrady dies!" The vampires scream a battle cry before they swoop into the broken windows of the HQ and go mental. I am about to join them, when a noise so appalling, so horrific, so... haunting that I am sorry I ever heard pierces the night sky.

"KYLE BROFLOVSKI!!!!" My mother is seriously mad.

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**Stan's POV**

The chopper was moving at high speed, and I have one arm wedged in metal wall so I do not fall out and one around Kyle's middle because he's more at risk being human. I can see the Secret Spy Agency or whatever headquarters directly below, and Cartman pulls a lever which drops the rope ladder so it is just brushing the roof of the HQ. Suddenly I am frozen and remember every single person I had met in this place, especially the ones who I had visited that day with the elusive Kyle vampire. Bebe, who had got a sex change. Tweek, who was a smooth talking fifteen year old lawyer. Clyde, interesting and compassionate, Craig, the nerdiest guy he'd ever seen, Token, a white racist pig, and who could forget the flyers of Pip with 'MOST WANTED' written under his face. It was like a dream that I could wake from at any moment, yet it was so vivid and intense it scared me. I look at Kyle, whose eyes are wide as Cartman and our parents leg it down a wooden rope, and the helicopter veers sideways with us hanging on for dear life.

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**Vampire Kyle's POV  
**After a harsh telling off for biting Stan, kidnapping an oversized teen, talking to the enemy, organizing an attack on a secret HQ 'which I'm not supposed to know exists' (Please, I've read all her 'secret' documents) I eventually swooped into the scene of the battle. The vampires were trying to break down a mahogany door, obviously laced with vampire-proof technology. I ordered them to stop.

"Barbrady? I know about the Parallelogram. I know your plans."  
"B-but how?" A scared mouse voice whimpers on the other side of the door.

"I'm very good."

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**Normal Kyle's POV  
**Ugh, am I dead? The only thing I remember is falling out of a chopper... I open my eyes to see Stan's face very, very, and very close to mine. He pulls his head back and manages a half smile.

"I-it worked," he says, breathlessly.

"Was that... mouth to mouth?" I sit up, blushing.

"We're on the ground floor. As we fell from the helicopter I managed to throw you through the window... but you hit your head on a desk."

"What about you?"

"I uh, flew in..." I look away from him. This vampire business is creepy.

"Anyway, we have to get to the next floor! Stuff restoring peace, I just have to get back through the Parallelogram and destroy it after I'm back somehow..." he seems to be talking to himself, so I glance around for an elevator or flight of stairs.

"Over there!" I cheer, pointing to a black circular shape embedded into the carpet. My eyes are bright and shiny with excitement.

"What is it?" Stan asks sceptically. I had watched enough science fiction movies to know what this was. I gesture for him to stand with me on the circle, and sensing pressure the machine teleports us to the next level.

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**Normal Cartman's POV  
**God dammit, this sucks! Kyle and Butters should burn in hell! I wriggle around in the cardboard box with air holes. This is so demeaning. Stupid gay vampire strength. The delivery van stops to a halt and I faintly hear confused murmuring before I am lifted out and placed down on earth. Next the van drives away. I suck in breath and feel my whole body tremble.

"BASTARDS!!!!" I wriggle violently, and after like, ten minutes the duct tape on the bottom begins to weaken and I kick through the bottom. Success! Then I look around. God dammit, I'm in the middle of nowhere! I start walking down a highway, and glare at the stupid thick canopy of forest that surrounds the highway. Looks like South Park county limits. I smirk. At least Stan and Kyle aren't here, I seriously hate those guys. Then I hear screaming from the trees. I shrug. Being in this gay parallel world bites, and that sounds like action. So much for no hippies, who am I going to save the world from? I snort as I pull back the first branch in my way, vampires? I suddenly come to a clearing, to see a huge mountain with a sort of house built into it. A helicopter is hovering in the sky and there are all sorts of awesome noises coming from there. I sprint up to the craggy mountain, and curse everyone I know as I begin to climb.

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**Normal Stan's POV  
**Wow, I've never done _that _before! Teleportation is totally awesome. Then again, I had never kissed Kyle before... no, it was mouth to mouth I firmly tell myself as we run down a hallway and find a room that actually has people in it. Officer Barbrady is standing next to Butters, who's pointing some sort of gun at Vampire Kyle who is standing in front of a big, pallid army. Kyle recognizes the vampire version of him, and I sigh as he passes out again. I rush in, and push Kyle aside as Butters shoots a ray of light into my chest. Everything feels tight, and I stagger backwards into an object I hadn't noticed before. My whole body feels as if it's being covered with jelly and suddenly everything goes white.

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**Para-Stan's POV  
**No way. I can't believe those stupid vampires chose to attack on the day I wanted to investigate Butters' hideout. That guy must be planning something if he sent me to the other world. I punch my pager to make it shut up. Yes, I got your message mom, and I'll try to make it back to HQ. Now's my time to shine, show everyone that I'm the _real _saviour and I'm not even there for my moment of glory. I run outside and almost trip over. I bolt down the road, knowing I'll never make it in time. I need a plane, a bullet train; a sports car... the only thing around here is a motorbike. I shrug, and pull a hairpin out of my top pocket. Expertly bending the hairpin I then shove it into the motorbike and grin as it roars into life. HQ, here I come! Watch out vampires, you are ancient history!


	10. Le Finale

**Chapter Ten: Le Finale**

**Vampire Kyle's POV  
**I look at Stan's curious yet peaceful face melt through the Parallelogram. His face is totally shocked all over, and that beam from Butters' gun-the shot that was supposed to hit me...

"You betrayed me!" I say, pulling myself up from where Stan catapulted into me.

"Don't you see Kyle," he says, stroking the gun with an insane look in his eyes, "one shot from this and all your vampire powers are stripped... you could be human!"

I stare at him.  
"How many shots do you have left?"  
He takes a step closer and aims at me.

"One."

Idiot. Only putting two cartridges in the gun? Everything then happens in slow motion. Butters fires, I leap into the air, over his head and crash down hard onto a desk behind Barbrady. I peek up from the now broken desk like a meerkat, and watch as Chef falls to the ground.  
"Too bad. I only developed those antidotes." We look at Chef, who is starting to regain colour in his face.

"So why are you defending _him_?" I gesture to the piece of slime, cowering behind Butters.

"He's paying me."

"Why did you make that deal with me then? I thought you wanted Barbrady out of the picture?"

"I do," he turns to Barbrady, "as soon as I get paid!" This is totally messed up. I sigh, and call off my vampires.

"I can handle Barbrady myself, and can one of you toss that other me into the machine?"

Bebe distiches herself from the group, and swoops over to pick up this other Kyle and tosses him roughly through the jelly-like doorway.

"O-k, I didn't really mean toss-"

There is then a crashing noise, and everyone pauses to look at a small turtle clad in white.

"What-" I begin, but more figures then come hurtling through the windows.

Cartman, Para-Stan's mother and... My father are sprawled on the ground surrounded by shattered glass.

"Dude," I gasp. He'd finally found me.

"Stupid chopper," Cartman curses under his breath, then stands to look at me.

"Hello again Kaaaaaaaaahhll"

"What do you mean again? This is the first time I've come face to face with you, you arrogant wannabe!"

"Oh-ho Kyle!"

I look around desperately, but my vampire army seems to be frozen and completely zombified. My mother has caught up to me, is standing in the doorway. I follow her gaze. Surprisingly, it's not on me but on my father. She's glaring at Mrs Marsh and evil glare as she is hanging off my father's arm. They all make me sick. This whole world makes me sick. I stare into the Parallelogram, where Stan and the other me are safely back in their probably normal world. There is another crash behind me. We all turn and see agent Stan Marsh roar into the room on a motorbike. Of all the things...

"Give it up Kyle," he looks at the people in the room more closely.

"Oh, two powerful vampire leaders in the same room?" He grins homicidally and steps forward with a crossbow. I sense movement and joy and see Barbrady making towards the window. Butters also notices and grabs his collar. Joy changes instantaneously to defeat and disappointment. Suddenly I sense another feeling, a fresh one. Realization, shock and the faintest glimmer of hope. Standing half hidden in the doorway is the Para-Cartman, his chubby face a pale mask of sadness. I nod my head towards him slightly, and he enters the room. Everyone else looks over. Holy Cartman walks angrily forward and points a gun at his Para-self.

"Who the hell are you?" He demands. The normal Cartman looks pissed off. I smirk.

"I could ask you the same thing." Then before anyone gets hurt, I swoop over and basically chuck Cartman through the Parallelogram. That's everyone who doesn't belong gone. Heck, I don't really understand this place... maybe I don't belong? Agent Stan raises the crossbow at me and Butters pipes up.

"What's loaded in that? T-this is a vampire you're trying to kill, by golly!"

"It's wood," he sneers triumphantly, "or a stake through the heart it shall soon be." He pulls the trigger, and immediately I bounce into action and grip my fingernails into the roof of the office.

"Listen, you have to destroy Barbrady! He's the real villain!" But the glint in Stan's eye tells me that he wants an epic showdown, a fight to the death. I usually don't like to disappoint but as Stan prepares to launch another wooden stake I crawl through the Parallelogram and feel myself immersed in jelly.

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**Stan's POV**

I've hit my head at least eighty times during these past few days I'm surprised that I don't have brain damage. I look around in the darkness. I can't see anything or sense anyone. I feel... a tad ordinary. Well, maybe I'm in heaven after Butters shot me. I mean, the bullet pierced my heart right? Then again, I am a vampire... I hear rustling next to me and am very surprised to see Kyle sit up and rub his beautiful reddish-brown locks. I didn't sense his feelings at all... I stand up groggily and stumble over to a light switch. The parallelogram is in full swing, green and glowing... I stagger back over to it and realize I can see through it like a window. It's like watching television...

"You betrayed me!" Kyle yells at Butters and stands up.

"Don't you see Kyle," he says, "one shot from this and all your vampire powers are stripped... you could be human!"

I look away. I got shot from that gun. My newly formed vampire powers are gone.

"Dude, what's happening? I saw myself! I saw two me's..." I look at him desperately and then see a figure melting through the Parallelogram. It's Cartman.

"Oh great," Kyle scowls standing up, "I thought you were going to stay in that hippie-free universe for good!"

Cartman looks genuinely shocked.

"No way man," he falls to the floor, "I've seen a lot of things and done a lot of thinking Kyle."  
After sitting and staring at the parallel world like a television, vampire Kyle climbs through the device.

"Why are you back?" I whisper.

"You guys are the only friends I've ever had," he gulps, "and my world is seriously fucked up."

"You!" Cartman yells at the new arrival to my world.

"Uh, yeah..." Vampire Kyle looks embarrassed.

"Come on. I think we have to destroy the Parallelogram for good." I say.

"Word," Kyle and Kyle chorus. They look at each other. I can still tell that my Kyle is freaked out. Even though I don't have supernatural powers I can still sense what my super best friend is feeling. I look around the government's 'secret' room for things to bash the Parallelogram with but vampire Kyle simply picks it up and throws it hard against the wall. The outer metal frame cracks, and the image in the green jelly becomes fuzzy before finally dying out. We all stand up as the alarms sound.

"Come on," vampire Kyle holds out his arms and we all take hold. Then he flies over to the door, tampers with the lock and we speed out of the whole building. We soar onto the roof of the nearest building that isn't the government's base and just sit and ponder.

"Hey," Cartman gets a sudden thought, "with two Kyle's shouldn't we give this vampire a different name?"

"Maybe," I shrug, "If he wants one."

Vampire Kyle shrugs.

"I want to forget the other world ever existed. From now on call me... Lyle."

Cartman looks up at Lyle, and I think he's blushing slightly.

"I-I've always wanted a brother you know," he looks down, "you can live with me." Lyle nods, and we sit in silence for a few more moments.

"Well, I think we should get some sleep now," Lyle stands up. Cartman follows suit and they head towards an emergency fire exit ladder on the roof and climb down the rungs.

"You know Stan, some pretty weird things happened to me today," Kyle sighs standing up, "but I think that I learned-"

His sentence is interrupted as I lean in to kiss him. He kisses back enthusiastically.

"It's not exactly a fairy tale ending but it works for me," I hear Lyle whisper. We break away at that moment, and stare gratefully up at the full moon.

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As Agent Stan watched Kyle crawl through the Parallelogram, he fires his crossbow after him, yet just before he could shoot he falters slightly and the wooden stake shot out the window. Everyone turns around to watch as it crashes into the side of the snowy mountain, and gasp as there is a rumbling sound. Before anyone can do anything, the base begins to shake and tilt sideways. An avalanche roars down the mountain at full speed and before anyone can do anything, Agent Stan, Barbrady, the vampires, Holy Cartman and Kenny the turtle, Mrs Marsh, Mr Broflovski, Mrs Broflovski and Butters are covered under thick heavy snow, probably never to be seen again. Yet, before the end comes Stan tries to crawl over to the Parallelogram. It's too late, the green glow is faltering and transmission will end at any moment. Quickly tampering with the signals to get into another world the doorway changes to a bright red glowing colour. It is at this moment he throws a scrunched up piece of paper through the doorway. He prays this world has a time travelling machine that can save their lives...

**THE END**


End file.
